Today I’m going to explain why I’m embracing non-attachment as a writer.
It hit me last Sunday when I gauged how much writing work I actually got done last year and this year. The result? 14,000 words. Pretty paltry! And the reason for this lack of productivity?
It wasn’t because of laziness or lack of interest – it was because of procrastination. And what was at the root of the procrastination? Fear.
Basically, the fear of failure is crippling my creativity. It’s deluding me into thinking that I’m getting somewhere with my writing when in fact I’m only pretending to be productive.
I’m deceiving myself, going nowhere, and making sure I stay in the vicinity of nowhere. When I ponder on this I see at the heart of it, I’m avoiding getting something out there because I’m afraid of failing.
Procrastination with writing has reared its ugly head many times in the past.
I’ve always wanted to produce a novel, but after 14 long years, only managed to produce a pithy 37,000-word novella, published in 2021.
So now the novella’s finished, and I’m onto the next writing project, and I feel like it’s Groundhog Day all over again. I see myself going through the same roundabout – a lot of procrastination and fear, and very little writing.
But now I’m getting sick of myself and my lack of productivity – so I’ve finally decided to do something about my fear of failure and the lack of productivity that goes with it. I’ve decided to embrace non-attachment as a writer!
This means that I’m going to finish projects that I start and get them out into the world. I’ll do my very best, but this time I won’t get attached to the outcome.
Since the fear of failure is crippling me, I figure it’ll be the only way I’ll ever get any work done!
Even writing this brings a certain sense of relief to my bones. I’ve always wanted to get a decent body of writing work out there, but fear has always stopped me.
Embracing non-attachment
By embracing non-attachment, I get to tick off ‘writing work completed’ on my bucket list, and then attend to other non-writing things on the list.
To clarify, I’m embracing the concept of non-attachment as it relates to Buddhism. Let’s explore this.
The Buddha (also known as Siddhartha Gautama), was a wandering religious teacher who lived in South Asia during the 5th or 6th century BCE and founded Buddhism. He was also a former prince who left his luxurious royal life to pursue enlightenment.
Non-attachment is one of the key tenets of the Buddha’s teachings, and emphasises the importance of letting go of things such as material possessions, thoughts, emotions, and relationships to cultivate a sense of inner peace.
A Buddhism quote
American Zen Master Dennis Genpo Merzel, in his book ’24/7 Dharma’, writes:
Suffering results from attachment and aversion. There are four basic reasons why we suffer: wanting what we don’t have or resenting what we have; longing for a loved one who isn’t there or despising the person who is with us.
How do we put an end to this delusion, this ignorance, this suffering? How do we cease wanting, when almost every living moment we exist in a state of craving?
Shakyamuni Buddha discovered a way to do that, called dhyana in his day, later ch’an in China and zazen in Japan – to sit still with one’s spine erect and naturally relaxed and just be, not doing anything.
Sitting with one’s spine erect while meditating is a way of achieving a mental state where one can detach from the cycle of craving.
The concept of success and failure
Let’s get back to the concept of success and failure. What are they anyway? I guess those things can be widely interpreted. Is success being financially rich, or being quietly content with your lot?
I define writing success as being able to support myself financially with it, but somebody else might define it differently.
Someone else might define it as ‘being published’ and ‘being read by a few people’. Other people might define writing success as being part of an elite group who get very rich from it.
What if you were a writer, but writing success never came? Would you still do it, or would you move on to something else?
The sexy Marlon Brando and the concept of success
I’ve been doing a lot of reading on Marlon Brando recently. Re-discovered him on YouTube (I developed a crush on him when I saw him in the movie ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’).
He was at the peak of his youth and beauty in the 1950s and had everything going for him – good looks, a natural, magnetic charisma, and loads of acting talent.
As well as riches, fame, and admiration, he had a special place amongst Hollywood’s elite. He was praised as one of the best actors in the world, made millions of dollars from his craft and later won two Oscars.
But in an interview in his later years, he told the interviewer that he viewed acting as a ‘waste of life’. He didn’t find it stimulating at all and never knew what he wanted to do career-wise.
Many viewed his life as a raging success – but did he see it that way?
I would have to really like writing to have endured 20 years of rejection. Some people like stamps. Some people like tennis. Some people like bowling. I enjoy writing.
– Martin Clark
Writing for its own sake
This begs the question: would you rather (a) be in a job you hate but be successful and make lots of money (but have no time for anything else); or
(b) do what you love but never experience financial success; or
(c) wait till you retire, then you can do what you want!
I’d choose (b). Money and success are always sexy but I ultimately write because I enjoy it, whether money and success come into the picture or not.
Of course you always prefer your work be read and enjoyed, but ultimately you don’t write for money, fame, or even other people.
You write for yourself, and what interests you. Or if you don’t, you should. Write what makes you happy, because writing is enjoyable and fulfilling for its own sake.
And being happy trumps everything (well in my opinion it does!).
WORD OF THE DAY: IRREFRAGABLE. Something which cannot be denied; unopposable. Can also mean stubborn and obstinate; unwilling to be opposed.
So I can definitely start working on training my mind to fight my fears (and perfectionism) and embrace non-attachment with writing. I want to get more books out there.
In the next blog, I’ll talk more about the concept of non-attachment and how I think it can help you become a better writer.
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